My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
