Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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