The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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