My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
