Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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