but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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