you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
