I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
