lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize