I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
