This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
