Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
