Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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