ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
