hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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