I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
