Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
