I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
