your thong is hanging out like whoa
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
