wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
