things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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