I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
