Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
North Korea, Best Korea!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
