How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
