This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
True strength comes from lack of pants
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
