Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize