is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
