Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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