So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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