Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
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