I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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