I need help removing her.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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