I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
