Swine flu. Run for my life!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
