Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
