Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
