How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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