dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
