I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
