I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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