We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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