Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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