Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
this is an emotional support booty call
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
