Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
