I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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