The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
