I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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