Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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