did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
