Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She's the barista slut.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
