My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
