Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He did a backflip because drugs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
