A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
