We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize