Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
