Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
