I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
