idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
