In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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