If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
