whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
